STEPHEN LEACOCK

My Financial Career When I go into a bank I get rattled. The clerks rattle me; the wickets rattle me; the sight of the money rattles me; everything rattles me. The moment I cross the threshold of a bank and attempt to transact business there, I become an irresponsible idiot. I knew this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to fifty dollars ...

It was in the flood-tide of chivalry. Knighthood was in the pod. The sun was slowly setting in the east, rising and falling occasionally as it subsided, and illuminating with its dying beams the towers of the grim castle of Buggensberg. Isolde the Slender stood upon an embattled turret of the castle. Her arms were outstretched to the empty air, ...

DIE HÜTTE Ich ging allein den Weg über das Feld, während der Sonnenuntergang sein letztes Gold wie ein Geizhals verbarg. Des Tages Licht sank tiefer und tiefer in die Dunkelheit, und das verwitwete Land, der Ernte brach, lag schweigend. Plötzlich stieg eines Knaben schrille Stimme in den Himmel. Er durchdrang ungesehn das Dunkel und ließ die Spu...

Here was once a very beautiful lady, lovely of her breasts, which had sweet nipples of brown, but even more lovely of her cunt, which was narrow and of exceeding tightness; howbeit she was able to take in a prick of most surprising bigness. The lovely cunt of her had also a delicious odor like as the flowers in the garden of the houris. The lady...

EARLY LIFE In the town hall of the seaport of St Malo there hangs a portrait of Jacques Cartier, the great sea-captain of that place, whose name is associated for all time with the proud title of 'Discoverer of Canada.' The picture is that of a bearded man in the prime of life, standing on the deck of a ship, his bent elbow resting upon the gunw...

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